When Fear Gets in the Way of Love: Diogo Brehm on Vulnerability, Connection & Being Yourself

What happens when the fear of losing someone makes it harder to let them see who you really are? Part 2 of Sarah’s conversation with Portuguese-German content creator Diogo Brehm picks up where Part 1 leaves off: with fear, vulnerability, and the messy reality of being human in relationships. Sarah and Diogo explore the strange contradiction at the heart of connection. We want to be seen, loved, and accepted for who we really are, yet fear of rejection or loss can cause us to hide parts of ourselves, avoid difficult conversations, and become the version of ourselves we think someone else will accept. Diogo opens up about what he’s learning through his own relationships and friendships, including taking responsibility for his actions, communicating more directly, allowing other people to be different from him, and accepting that being yourself also means accepting that not everyone will like you. The conversation moves from romantic relationships to friendship, loneliness, people entering and leaving our lives, ghosting, and how easily we can interpret someone else’s behavior as evidence that we did something wrong or that something is wrong with us. And because this is Diogo, there’s plenty of humor along the way, including a conversation about why knowing someone’s “WhatsApp language” might be almost as important as knowing their love language. As the conversation comes to a close, Diogo reflects on mistakes, losing people, imperfection, and one of the biggest lessons he’s learning: the goal isn’t to become fearless. It’s to stop letting fear make your decisions. Because when fear makes our decisions, our lives become smaller. When love does, there’s a whole lot more life available to us. And perhaps the most important lesson of all? “A pastel de nata a day keeps the worries away.”